Do you consider yourself a rule-follower or a rule-breaker? Whatever the answer, one thing that you may not be aware of is that every person has their own set of rules they follow. These rules are important to know because they drive your every action.
Yep, every one follows a set of rules. You have rules for love, success, relationships, you name it. So if there is an area of your life that isn’t working so well, you need to look at your rules and redefine them.
For example, some time ago I looked at my rules for success. I asked myself, “What has to happen in order for me to feel successful?” My answers surprised me. I had to make a lot more money than I am now. I had to be acknowledged as successful by others, primarily by those in authority. I had to be given recognition (like awards, etc.). And, I had to be given a position of authority.
Pardon the expression, but what a load of crap! Yet, these were the rules I was living under. Picked up from my childhood and other experiences, this is the definition I had unconsciously given to success. Notice how my rules were really leaving me with no control. Under these rules, I was dependent on others’ actions and reactions to me to determine my level of success. I gave myself no say in the matter.
I quickly defined a new set of rules for success – a set of rules where I was in control of the outcome. Now, to me, success means helping another. Success means leaving someone happier and more content than when I first met them. Success is when I learn something new or do something better than I used to. Success is doing something I thought I couldn’t do. Success is giving. And success is continuing to love someone even when they do something I don’t love.
I like these rules a whole lot more because not only am I in control of my success, but I have a whole lot more capacity to feel successful every day. And that’s awesome.
So ask yourself, what has to happen for you to feel successful? What has to happen for you to feel loved? What has to happen for you to be in a passionate relationship? What has to happen for you to be happy? You may be surprised by your answers. You may think others are to blame for things not going well in your life, but it’s only because you set up your rules that way. Know your rules; then change your rules. It will change your life.
Wednesday, 21. April 2010
I had to make a lot more money than I am now. I had to be acknowledged as successful by others, primarily by those in authority. I had to be given recognition (like awards, etc.). And, I had to be given a position of authority.
Well, this describes me to a “T”, now I am worried…….. and at one time, I was a Combat Arms Instructor, I blame the military..
Great blog and website!
Wednesday, 21. April 2010
Wow Fay, interesting we had very similar rules governing our lives. I recently changed my life and made the rules that govern me were based on love, respect and giving. Life changes and forces us to evaluate our lives. When mom died, I knew my life would be forever different and my mom had always told me to be happy. When she died not only was I grieving but I was truly unhappy. Why? I had put too much emphasis on my job, being successful ( in a position of authority that paid very well) but was I happy? No, I went back to the basics back to why I choose the profession I did and what it truly meant.
Today I am very happy and can give love to my family, friends and clients.
Life is so good when you give it a chance and evaluate what really matters. Your facebook comments also played an important role in changing the way I look at things. Good Luck and thank-you. Love Yvette
Thursday, 22. April 2010
Thank you Yvette. I wish you infinite happiness. Your mom sure knew how to laugh and love. She passed that onto you.
<3 Fay
Thursday, 22. April 2010
Dean, it does sound like military training doesn’t it? But the military doesn’t control your mind. Only you! Use it for good and not evil! LOL.
Tuesday, 3. August 2010
thanks lots, I must say your blog is fantastic!
Tuesday, 3. August 2010
I was just going through your site it is quite well crafted, I am looking around on the net looking for the best way to start this blog thing and your site is almost certainly extremely high quality.
Friday, 6. August 2010
I agree with the comments above that a fully rounded character is always a better character, no matter what the gender. With a complete, formed personality, everything considered, anyone can relate to them.